why gifts from me are the BEST

This year, even though I've been doing my best to avoid the holidays, I realized that certain people in my life require gifts. It's not that it's a requirement, that I will be shunned if I don't give these people gifts, but if I do not, even if they claim that it isn't important to them, on some level they will feel like maybe I don't love them. And there is no way that I want anyone to feel sad that Santa Kerrie didn't come for them this year.

So, certain people in my life require gifts.

This year, I have been going through some bigtime transitions with my business and my work. I realized that I haven't had a Christmas season when I wasn't working retail, or my husband wasn't working retail, in quite some time. It feels weird. So, I've been feeling a little like I should be hiding in a cocoon. Going shopping was something that I'd rather not do. In fact, I'd rather have major surgery, get my dental work done, do accounting even, if that would get me out of slogging through the pre-holiday crazed crowds. There's something about the mob mentality of a holiday shopping crowd that terrifies me. They stop seeing you as a person, and start to see you as an obstruction. There's none of that mutual getting out of each other's way, so that everyone can look at the tea section, or saying such superfluous words such as "excuse me," or picking up the box of chocolates that the 93 year old woman just dropped. No, no, that kind of crazy behavior was so last month. This month it's about GETTING so you can soon be GIVING.

I'd hate to ruin someone's holiday by getting the last Xbox that their child is dying for, so I decided that the safest thing for me was to stay home. Shop online. Make presents. Give experiences and all that.

I've always been one of the weirder gift givers in my family, anyway. I try so hard not to get something that is on a person's wish list, but that they'll like anyway. Hey, if it's on their wish list, they're kind of expecting it, right? So it's not a surprise. And surprise is what's it's all about for me. I hate surprises in my own life, but ironically I love giving other people surprises. I loved giving my brother-in-law (a serious astrophysicist) a set of glow-in-the-dark stars for his ceiling. I gave my little sister a keydoll (an art doll shaped around a skeleton key) when she moved into her first away-from-home home. I gave my future husband, on our first real date, a squishy rubber brain from Archie McPhee.

Yes, I am one of those annoying gift-givers who will give you something deep and meaningful and probably not at all useful.

This year, I've decided to really, really embrace this trait, and give people gifts that they might just hate, but I enjoy giving a lot. I'm trying not to care if they hate my gifts. Remember last year, the commercials where the poor kids were complaining about yet another lime green handknitted sweater from crazy Aunt Mildred, when they really wanted something from Office Max? My fear has always been of becoming Aunt Mildred. But not this year. This year, I say, who cares. In fact, if I really want to be kind to myself and allow myself to feel the joy of giving, I'm not even going to be tied down to getting people their gifts on a certain day. You might get something in February, on August 2nd, or yes, live through the surprise, but your random gift day might actually fall on a Holiday or on your birthday. Please, try not to faint.

Secondly, this year, I for the first time, have been shyly forcing some crafty items on people in a serious way. Now, if you know me, you may find this hard to believe. It's true, I'm not shy about my handmade stuff, or I don't act shy anyway. My lack of shyness is an act. I'm really shy. Especially about stuff that I don't think I'm "really good at." After all, what if they think it's an ugly green sweater from Aunt Mildred?

I did it though. I knitted things that happened to be ready around the winter holidays. The Taylor side of the family need their presents close to an actual holiday, or they get confused, and they already think I'm weird enough, so I'm trying to honor the real holiday day for them. I love them and don't want to confuse them TOO much. But, I really loved knitting silly mittens for mom-in-law, and a scarf for sister-in-law, and an elf-hat for my baby nephew. Then, surprise surprise, I even knitted scarves for my two little sisters, which also just HAPPENED to be ready around an actual winter holiday. Weird how it worked out, isn't it? Total coincidence, please don't expect such timeliness from me in the future.

I hope that they like them, of course. If they don't, it'll be OK, because they'll be polite and never tell me. I'll never know that they've just start calling me Mildred behind my back.

I don't care, I'm smug, cause I know my gifts are secretly the best.