The Salmon (almost a work in progress)

I've been reinspired lately to work on my Totem Tarot again, after putting it aside for a while. I have a lot of card designs finished, but realized that I haven't done much in the way of organizing them or relating them to actual tarot cards. So, I pulled out my copy of The Tarot According to You (a book I love) and my favorite tarot deck and shuffled them up, asked what I was supposed to focus on, and pulled a random card. It was The Chariot.

The Chariot is a good card for my life right now. I'm in the middle of a ton of transitions and changes and decisions. I rededicated myself to talking to people in person about art (my monthly open studio) which can be tough for me. I am shy, believe it or not. Then, my Americorps job is coming to an end. Changes. Will there be a similar job for me in the future, in non profit, helping others, etc, etc? Maybe and maybe not. The nonprofit in which I served my indentured servitude Americorps term is not hiring right now due to budget concerns.

Money is an issue, of course. So I'm applying for jobs. But also wondering if a) it's a choice between more indentured servitude Work and Art, b) if I get a Big Job, a Career Style Job, if it means stepping back from the art just as I was starting to be able to make art again and c) will I die homeless and penniless, and no one will love me, Stuart Smalley Style? and finally, d) don't Real Artists have more ego? Maybe by worrying about this in a public place I'm cursing my rights to be an artist...?

See how appropriate The Chariot is?

I think Salmon when I started to think about what The Chariot means to me, so my next totem card will be The Salmon. The Salmon is a fighter, creative, a creature of the cycle. What goes around comes around.